Girdlebuster Pie Recipes

GRASSHOPPER PIE

Steps:

• Set aside 1 cookie for later use. Process the remaining cookies and chocolate in a food processor until they form a crumb mixture. Add the butter and process until the mixture starts to clump together.
• Press the mixture into a high-sided fluted tart pan, making a smooth base and sides with your hands or the back of a spoon. Put it into the refrigerator to chill and harden.
• Melt the marshmallows in a saucepan over low gentle heat along with the milk. Once the milk starts to foam (not boil), take off the heat and keep stirring until the marshmallows blend into the milk to make a smooth mixture.
• Pour the mixture out of the saucepan into a heatproof bowl, then whisk in the creme de menthe and creme de cacao. Leave until cool.
• In a medium bowl, whisk the cream until it starts to hold soft peaks then, still whisking, add the cooled marshmallow mixture. This filling should be thick but still soft, not stiff or dry, so that it will eventually drop easily out of the bowl into the chilled pie crust.
• When the marshmallow mixture and cream are combined, whisk in a few drops of food coloring, if desired.
• Spread the filling into the chilled base, swirling it about with an icing spatula or silicone spatula to fill evenly. Put the pie in the refrigerator, covered, to chill overnight or for a minimum of 4 hours until firm.
• Crush the remaining cookie and sprinkle it over the top of the pie before serving.

GIRDLEBUSTER PIE

Steps:

• In a food processor, process the biscuits with the 3 ounces of the soft butter and the chocolate pieces or chips until it forms a damp but still crumb-like clump. Press into a 9-inch (23cm) pie plate or flan dish. Form a lip of biscuit dough a little higher than the plate or dish if you can. This process takes patience as you need, ideally, to form a smooth even layer. Sorry. Freeze this biscuit-lined layer for about 1 hour so it gets really hard. In the meantime, let your ice cream soften, in the refrigerator, just until it can be scooped. Spread the ice cream into the hard biscuit-lined dish to form a layer. Then cover in cling film and return to the freezer.
• Put the syrup, sugar, remaining 3 ounces of butter and the salt, if using, into a saucepan and let it melt over low to medium heat, before turning it up and boiling for 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and add the bourbon, letting it hiss in the pan. Add the cream and stir to mix into a sauce, then remove from the heat and let cool. Once the sauce is cool, but not set cold, pour it over the pie to cover the ice cream layer and then put it back in the freezer. Once frozen, cover with cling film again.
• When ready to serve, remove the pie from the freezer, take the whole pie out of its dish and cut into slices. Should you have any pie leftover, slip it quickly back into the dish and return, covered with cling film, to the freezer.

RUDOLPH PIE (CHRISTMAS SHEPHERD'S PIE)

Steps:

• Pour 2 cups of near-boiling water over the dried porcini mushrooms and leave to steep while you get on with the rest of the cooking. Peel the onions, carrots and garlic cloves and chop them; I use a food processor here, and do them in 2 batches of 2 each.
• Pour the oil into a very large, thick-bottomed pan and when it's warm add the chopped onions, carrots and garlic. Cook, stirring, for about 10 minutes, sprinkling in salt if the vegetables look as though they might burn.
• Drain the porcini, reserving the soaking liquid, chop them coarsely and add them to the vegetable mixture along with the button mushrooms. After about 5 minutes, when the fresh mushrooms have cooked down a bit into the mixture, transfer the vegetables to a plate so that you can start cooking the meat. Add a little more oil to the pan then add the minced meats, breaking them up with a wooden fork or spatula. Stir for about 5 minutes until the rawness has left them a bit, add salt liberally, and then return the vegetable mixture to the pan. Stir in the flour and, still stirring, pour in the mushroom-soaking liquid, tomatoes, tomato paste, Marsala and a few drops of Worcestershire sauce. Stir well, cover partly with a lid and turn down the heat so that the mixture bubbles gently with some of the liquid evaporating and the flavours intensifying, for about an hour. Even longer wouldn't do it any harm providing the heat is very low.
• Once cooked, taste for seasoning then remove from heat. If it helps you can cook the base in advance (either freezing it or leaving it in the fridge for a few days), which means that when you want to serve the pie, you have only to bother with the topping. Some people are happy to make a shepherd's pie in its entirety and then leaving it to be reheated, but I think that's only OK if you don't need to refrigerate it for days (it does something funny to the texture of the potatoes). An afternoon, even a longer stretch, in a cold wintry kitchen, though, is fine. An easier alternative might be to refrigerate the cooked base and leave the mashed potatoes and parsnips in a plastic wrapped bowl in a cold place in the kitchen for however long you need, bringing the two together just before they go into the oven.
• Given the amount of potatoes stipulated, I suggest you hand people a peeler if you have any around who ask if there's anything they can do to help. Or use a potato ricer, which means you don't need to peel them. Either way, boil the potatoes in a large pan of salted water until they are nearly tender and then add the parsnips which have been peeled and cut into chunks. Simmer until the potatoes and parsnips are cooked to easily mashable tenderness, but not to the point of disintegration, then drain them and let them dry slightly in the colander while you warm the milk and melt the butter in the heat of the pan that you cooked the potatoes in. Rice the potatoes and parsnips straight into this pan (or mash them) and then grate in some fresh nutmeg and add salt to taste.
• Put the meat mixture into a large dish approximately 12 1/2 inches by 14 1/2 inches in size. Then dollop the potato mash on top, spreading with a spatula, taking care to seal the edges to prevent the meat below from bubbling up in the oven. Use a fork to draw lines over the top, then dot with butter and sprinkle with Worcestershire sauce. If you're cooking this straight away, in other words when everything's still warm, about 10 minutes in a 425 degree F oven should be enough to make it piping hot and golden and crisp on top. If cooking from cold, about an hour in a 375 degree F oven should do it.

GRANDMA BOWEN'S 'GIRDLE BUSTER' COOKIE PIE

Steps:

• Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).
• Blend cookies in a food processor until finely crushed. Mix in melted butter. Press crust mixture into the bottom and 1/4 inch up the edges of a 9x9-inch baking dish.
• Bake in the preheated oven for 7 minutes. Set aside to cool.
• Whisk milk and pudding mix together for 2 minutes. Let stand until thickened, about 5 minutes.
• Wipe out food processor and blend together cream cheese, 1 cup whipped topping, and confectioners' sugar. Layer cream cheese mixture over the baked crust. Spread the pudding on top. Top off with the remaining whipped topping.

OLD RAG PIE

Steps:

• Melt the butter in a small saucepan, then take it off the heat.
• Line an 8-inch square cake tin with a layer of phyllo, making sure it comes up the sides; you will need to use more than one sheet. Then pour 1 tablespoon of melted butter over the pastry.
• Using one third of the remaining phyllo sheets, tear and scrunch the sheets up and drop them loosely in the tin. Then crumble in half the feta, sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of Parmesan and just under 1/2 teaspoon of thyme leaves (or 1/4 teaspoon of dried thyme) and pour a third of the remaining melted butter over the top.
• Repeat, so that you use up all but a little of the butter and a small amount of thyme. For the last layer, you can use larger pieces of phyllo "rags" (as it's the lid), filling the tin a little more tightly, but still scrunching them.
• Fold the edges of overhanging phyllo over themselves, and pour the remaining butter on top. Using the sharp point of a knife, make 2 cuts down and 2 cuts across into the phyllo-packed tin, from edge to edge to create 9 sections. It's important that you don't use a blunt knife, as you don't want to drag the phyllo or press down on it.
• Beat the eggs with the milk, then pour over the contents of the tin. Sprinkle the last bit of thyme along with the sesame seeds on top. Let it stand for at least 30 minutes in a cool place before baking. If 2 hours is easier for your timetable, then put it in the fridge. And you can do this in advance.
• Heat the oven to 200 degrees C (400 degrees F)/gas mark 6, and bake the pie for 30 minutes. When it's ready, the pastry will be golden and puffed up, and the inside set.
• Let it stand for 10 minutes, then spoon 1 tablespoon of the honey over the top.
• Cut into slices or slabs--using a serrated bread knife and sawing action to prevent squishing the phyllo on top too much, then pushing the knife down to cut through. Serve the pie directly from the tin and put the jar of honey, with a spoon in it (or you can pour it into a jug) on the table for people to add extra as they eat.