New Mexico Chili Cook Off Recipes

NEW MEXICO CHILI COOK-OFF

Steps:

• CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
• Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
• Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.
• CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
• Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
• Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
• CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
• Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
• Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.
• CHILI # 4=2 0- BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC.
• Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
• Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
• Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT -- Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?.
• CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER.
• Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
• Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
• Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
• CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY.
• Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
• Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
• Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
• CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
• Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
• Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
• CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI.
• Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
• Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?.
• Judge # 3 -- No report.

NEW MEXICO CHILI

Steps:

• Brown the beef in oil. Add the onions, celery, and garlic and sauté until soft. Add the remaining ingredients and enough water to cover and simmer for about 2 to 3 hours or until meat is tender. Add more water if necessary.

NEW MEXICO CHILI PASTA BAKE

Steps:

• Preheat oven 375*.
• Prepare a 11x7x3 baking dish or any deep dish that will hold the amount of ingredients with a drizzle of olive oil.
• First, gather tomatoes and blend well, set aside.
• Now dice up red onion, poblano pepper, place in bowl, set aside.
• Mince garlic cloves, set aside.
• Then in a small dish combine garlic powder, 1 teaspoons cumin powder, Mexican oregano, dried parsley, 1/2 teaspoons black pepper, 1 teaspoons salt, set aside.
• Gather flour in another small dish, set aside.
• Use a (non-stick) dutch-style pan, heat on med-high, add ground meat, onion, poblano pepper, cook for about 4-5 minute Then add, mixed spices and cook for about another 1-2 minutes Stir in flour and cook for 2 minute (this helps cook the rawness of the flour).
• Add blended tomatoes and minced garlic, stir & cook for about 2 minutes Add red chili powder stir & cook another 1 minute.
• Add 4 cups of water, cream. 1 teaspoons cumin, 1/2 teaspoons black pepper & 1 teaspoons salt or more to taste. Bring to a simmer, cook uncovered for 15 minute for the flavors to come together.
• In prepare dish, add uncooked pasta and pour *chili sauce over pasta until submerged. Toss 1 cup cheddar cheese and mix around dish. Top with the other cup of cheese. Place in middle-rack of oven and cook for about 45 minute or until pasta is tender.
• Garnish with lettuce, tomatoes & onion or eat just like that.
• Footnotes:.
• Preheat oven 375* Prepare a 11x7x3 baking dish or any deep dish that will hold the amount of ingredients with a drizzle of olive oil.
• *Note your chili will be watery, but will thicken up from the pasta and cheese. **If you decide to use spaghetti make sure to boil in salted water for half the time on box. Drain and rinse in cold water. You will need it to be flexible to mix in chili sauce. Cut baking time to 30 minute.
• ***If you cannot find NM red chili powder, try to find a plain red chili powder. If not, then you can probably use regular chili powder, but be aware that it is mixed with spices, such as garlic, cumin, etc. So you might have to adjust the spices in this recipe.

NEW MEXICO'S BEST CHILI VERDE

Steps:

• lightly brown pork cubes in some olive oil and remove from pot.
• Brown diced onions for about 10 min or until onions are caramelized
• Add roasted garlic.
• Add back the meat.
• Add flour and cook it for a couple of minutes to remove the flour taste then Add tomatoes and Roasted dry chilies.
• Pour chicken broth in a blender and blend chili and broth. Add the chili chicken broth to stew.
• Bring mixture to boil and simmer.
• Add sugar, salt and pepper.
• Allow mixture to thicken and thoroughly finish cooking the pork.