Metric Jesters Evil Burgers Recipes

BIG BAD BURGERS

Steps:

• Preheat an outdoor grill for high heat and lightly oil the grate.
• Melt butter in a skillet over medium-low heat. Cook and stir onion and mushrooms in melted butter until the onions are very tender and beginning to brown, 10 to 15 minutes. Sprinkle brown sugar over the mixture and continue cooking until the onions caramelize, 5 to 10 minutes more; remove from heat and set aside.
• Mix ground beef, egg, bread crumbs, horseradish, steak sauce, Worcestershire sauce, garlic, dried onion, salt, and black pepper in a bowl; shape into 4 patties about 6 inches wide and 1/2 inch thick.
• Cook burgers on preheated grill until completely browned, about 3 minutes per side. Reduce heat to medium and cook burgers another 3 minutes per side, topping each burger with a slice of pepperjack cheese for the last minute of cooking.
• Top each burger with about 1/4 of the mushroom and onion mixture, 3 pieces of bacon, and 1 tablespoon guacamole to serve.

MESSY BURGERS

Steps:

• Place the ground chuck into a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook, stirring to crumble, until no longer pink. Drain the grease from the skillet and reduce the heat to medium-low. Add the onion and butter and season with garlic pepper. Cook, stirring frequently, until the onion is tender. Lay the slices of cheese on top of the meat. As the cheese starts to melt, fold the meat from the edges onto the cheese, keeping some of the meat under the cheese. Keep folding the meat until the cheese has completely melted and everything is well blended. Spoon onto hamburger buns to serve.

HIDDEN SECRET BURGERS

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
• In a bowl, mix the ground beef, onion, egg, hot pepper sauce, and bread crumbs. Season with paprika, parsley, salt, and pepper. In a separate bowl, mix the cheese, red chile pepper, and jalapeno pepper. Form the beef mixture into 4 balls, and press a well in the center of each. Stuff with equal amounts of the cheese mixture. Press meat around filling to seal. Arrange on a baking sheet, and press gently into thick patties.
• Bake 20 minutes in the preheated oven, turning once, until well done.

METRIC JESTER'S BARLEY STEW

Steps:

• toss beef cubes and muschroom slices with montreal steak spice, then coat with oil.
• Sear beef and mushrooms in dutch oven.
• add onions and stir fry until onions are just starting to get soft.
• add celery, carrots, and potatoes stir and wait 3-5 minutes for food to warm up.
• add beef stock (water) all at once if hot, or slowly if cold.
• add barley and spices and then stir until combined.
• simmer for up to 4 hours, but it's cooked after 1.
• If using a slow cooker: start with the barley and liquid, and then using the same pan, sear beef and add, brown mushrooms and add, fry onions, celery and carrots then add, de-glaze pan and top off with spices. cook for 6 to 8 hours.

METRIC JESTER'S FUSION STIRFRY

Steps:

• put pot on to boil, and when rolling, add pasta.
• heat up wok or large skillet on medium.
• spin garlic, ginger, and walnuts in magic bullet or blender, us as much or as little water so that you get a thin paste.
• stir in lemon juice, lemon zest, soy sauce, sesame oil, cardamom and coriander and then set aside for later.
• stir-fry vegetables together.
• toss drained pasta with vegetables and sauce mix.
• eat and enjoy.
• NOTE: you could add just about any type of meat or nut to the vegetable stir-fry if you want more protein .

MEAT LOVER'S BURGER

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
• Place bacon in a skillet over medium heat, and cook until brown and crisp. Remove bacon from skillet and drain on paper towels.
• Return the skillet to the heat and increase the temperature to medium-high. Add the onion and garlic, and stir fry until the onion is soft and the garlic begins to brown. Add the balsamic vinegar, and cook while stirring for one minute. Add the chopped mushrooms, and cook for three additional minutes. Remove pan from heat and set aside.
• Finely chop 4 slices of the bacon (reserving the remaining 4). In a medium bowl, combine the chopped bacon, ground beef, bread crumbs, Italian seasoning, Parmesan cheese, mushroom mixture and egg. Mix well using hands. Season with salt and pepper, and form into two patties.
• Open the two halves of the hamburger bun on an ungreased cookie sheet. Place one beef patty on each half, and cover each with one slice of tomato, 2 slices of the reserved bacon and one slice of Swiss cheese.
• Bake for 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until meat has cooked through.

METRIC JESTER'S LEFTOVER TURKEY

Steps:

• blend spices together in a small bowl.
• Put a big pot on medium high heat.
• toast the spice blend and rice together before putting everything into the pot.
• boil (or simmer) until rice is cooked, adding extra water as needed.
• Save the turkey and gravy for last, it's already cooked.

METRIC JESTER'S CRUNCHIE SALAD

Steps:

• Toast almonds and sesame seeds on cookie sheet in 350F oven until brown but not black.
• crunch up the noodles and saute them with butter adding one pkg of soup mix.
• Add the toasted almonds and sesame seeds to the noodles and let it cool.
• Chop the cabbage, rinse and spin.
• chop the scallions and toss with the cabbage.
• For Dressing: Mix all dressing ingredients on low heat to melt sugar and allow to cool (do this ahead).
• just before serving toss everything together, the greens the noodle mixture and the dressing.

'MEAT'S TOO EXPENSIVE!' VEGETARIAN BURGERS

Steps:

• Pour enough water into a pot that will cover lentils and wheat germ; bring to a boil. Add lentils and wheat germ, reduce heat, and simmer until lentils are tender, adding more water if needed, 20 to 25 minutes. Remove pot from heat and cool slightly; mash lentil mixture until thick and lumpy.
• Transfer mashed lentil mixture to a bowl. Mix onion, green bell pepper, mozzarella cheese, egg, green chile pepper, garlic, salt, and pepper into lentil mixture until thoroughly mixed; shape into 8 patties.
• Heat about 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in a large skillet over high heat. Lower heat to medium-high and cook 4 patties in the hot oil until golden brown, about 3 minutes per side. Repeat with remaining oil and patties.

METRIC JESTER'S EVIL BURGERS

Steps:

• fry first 5 ingredients until everything is soft and fragrant, using medium heat.
• allow veggies to cool (put it in the fridge for 20 minutes or so) while you bring beef and egg up to room temperature (take that out of the fridge for 20 minutes or so).
• put beef in a big bowl, everything else on top, save bread for last, and mix with bare hands (yummy)!
• separate into 4, make patties (I like to stretch a square of plastic wrap over a peanut butter lid, drop in the meat and gather the wrap into the middle of the patty and press down, extra wrap makes a good expansion divot).
• fry, grill, broil, or whatever it is you do to cook burgers.
• toast your buns, mayo and mustard on the bottom, then a patty, a squirt of Frank's Red Hot, then cheese, then an over easy fried egg, then the fried back bacon, then lettuce, tomato, pickles, pickled or grilled beetroot, salt and pepper, top of the bun and two olives on a toothpick for garnish.